New Year's Eve 2010 ...Revisted

This morning I found an old blog post from December 31, 2010. My mind has gone back to what I wrote frequently today. I have thought about the words written then and the changes in my life over the past 15 years. I've laughed, I've cried, I've even gotten angry, and I am still contemplating what to do with this jumble of emotions... especially with current events bringing their own turmoil. Not all bad, or sad, but the "what if's" and "why's" do color a few of my perspectives. 

The post (or more likely an old Facebook Note) is titled:

Favorites of 2010

Last night I began thinking of things from this past year that have been important to me. I had to laugh that so many of the words began with the same letter: Faith, Family, Friends, Films, Festivities, Flames, Finding...! Well, you get the point. My initial title for this note did make me giggle, but I decided it is inappropriate. Therefore, I was grateful when the word "Favorites" popped into my mind.

Faith: My faith becomes more important to me each year. This is the year I reluctantly decided to leave a church family I still love dearly and move to another. I was so caught up in service to God that I was neglecting time with God. I also know myself well enough to know that I was not just going to learn to say no and step down from my involvement. I still have a long way to go in learning to rest in His presence and listen to His voice. (I do tend to talk way too much!) However, I am learning to seek Him and soak in His word. Prayer needs of others also is bringing me into more time spent with God.

Family: My "babies"are all in their 30s!! How did that happen so quickly? (Frankly, I still see a 16 year old when I look in the mirror....yeah, fantasy!!) My daughter remarried this year and is growing in her faith. My prayers are still with my sons to return to theirs, but I am proud of the people my children have become and have confidence that they will continue to evolve into the people God intends them to be.

The grandkids are rushing toward adulthood with amazing speed. Zac is driving!! I still see the little boy on his tricycle, but he will soon be a man and already shows a promise of maturity. Caitlyn is at the fun, frustrating, & fascinating age of fifteen. Cody is leaving behind the world of being a child quicker than I am ready for, but I am amazed at the young man he is becoming. Admittedly, there were a few weeks there when I broke out in hives every day when he got home from school...and he wasn't too thrilled to be around me either...but I believe we are going to be okay.

Friends: This is an absolutely amazing group of people who mean more to me than they could possibly realize. Some have been around for a lifetime...and I have the sheer pleasure of also being related to them. Some are people that I have met through the years and whether the relationship is one where we share details of our lives or one of a more casual nature, each is special to me. The third group are people I have never met. There are some I can share more detail with than I have shared with people I have known for over 50 years.....yet I never expect to meet them. (Perhaps that is the type that works best for me! LOL!) Whether I have known these friends since my entrance into the world, or they have just recently entered into my world, these are people I can talk to, pray for (& can ask them to pray for me), and rejoice in getting to know them better. I hope you all know who you are and that I have let you know that I treasure you.

Films: What can I say? Beyond The Farthest Star!  Alright, seriously, there is no doubt that I am so excited about this film I talk of little else...and I couldn't begin to tell you why. Honestly...I don't know. :)

However BTFS and other faith-based films have become an important part of my life. On one hand it saddens me that we have become so entertainment saturated that simply telling others about Jesus no longer seems adequate. On the other hand, I see movies, music, & books as doors of opportunity to get a conversation started. I love to read, but I realize many do not. Music is my favorite form of worship...a song can bring me to the throne of God within seconds. But movies seem to weave a common thread with others. I like a variety of movies. I don't think the purpose of each faith-based film should be to lead others to Christ. I don't have the expectation of secular films to encapsulate their entire belief system within an approximately 2 hour time frame, so why should I expect Christian filmmakers to constrict themselves?

God did lay this industry on my heart. I know I probably drive many people up a wall as I promote a variety of films, but it seems silly for me to just sit around praying for the films and the people involved with them without sharing the news. Put it this way: If you feel something will make a difference in someone's life, do you tell them? Whether a film can help me share my faith with non-believers, clarify (whether about a person, an issue, whatever...), give a person something to think about,....or frankly, just entertain someone, how will people know if no one tells them? 

Festivities: Whether it is the most sacred of holidays that commemorate significant milestones in our beliefs (Christmas, Easter, etc.) to frivolous (Talk Like A Pirate Day, National Coffee Day...not sure if that is frivolous to me) to ones that give us both cause to reflect on our past and give hope to the future (any guesses here?), the festivities, celebrations, & holidays have given us an opportunity to share fun facts, favorites, fears, faith, friendship...and a common bond with one another. Hope to have many opportunities in 2011 to celebrate with y'all!!

Flames: What else, but.....my cooking...to use the term loosely. I noticed my most popular status updates were always when I mentioned my attempts to cook. While I do have the occasional success, I also have those moments with flames shooting out of the oven. My inability to boil water without some type of disaster still astounds me. I do want to thank some of you who were kind enough to believe that I merely lacked decent recipes. Some that I received did turn out quite well. Some looked promising, although my son constantly tells me that my ideas of "close enough" is usually nowhere near an adequate substitute. There are some I am still puzzling over: what is 'cake flour'? Let me leave this section with a quote I found written in my status updates that sums up this subject perfectly:

'I read recipes the same way I do science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's probably not going to happen!""

Finding: This refers to my recent attempts to clean out closets. No, I'm still not done!!!!! Once I packed away the reindeer antlers and nose.....THAT reminds me!! I never did come back and let people know about the nose. I lamented that I could not find my clown nose the day I discovered my reindeer antlers while cleaning. Well, I went to church with my daughter & family on Christmas Eve and red foam noses were being given to the children for them to wear while singing "Rudolph" during the program. I laughed and said that I needed one earlier due to the misplacement of my red nose, and they graciously gave me one!!!!! LOL! While I seldom feel the need to dress like Rudolph while cleaning (the closets were just particularly depressing)........now I can!!

Anyway...some of y'all may remember all of the plastic Easter eggs I kept finding! I am still finding them everywhere!! I apparently have bought dozens of the things over the years and just kept tossing them in the closet. Trust me, they are leaving my house.......in spite of the fact that I keep thinking of uses for them. I am also hoping I have found the last of my stashes of crayons, glue, & sticky notes. I doubt it, but I can hope. Who knows what all I may find before the forage through the closets is finished.

Facebook: Now, how could I omit this word? The previously mentioned topics would be futile and frustrating without the fun I have had here. Facebook has been at the center of so many aspects of my life, and I hope it will continue to be part of my life...but who knows what the future holds.

Finally...thank you all for a fantastic year! May God bless each one who has been a part of my life in 2010 and I hope 2011 is filled with love, life, laughter, & joy beyond belief!
         *********************************************

Updates:
Faith - My faith and trust in God remains strong, but I still need to grow closer. I returned to the church I had left in 2010 just eight years later. God knew I was going to need these familiar friends around me very soon. Between a pandemic, great-grandchildren, and personal health issues, I no longer attend, but I can watch online to still feel a part of it all.

Family - My "babies" are getting closer to 50! Zac, Cait, and Cody have children ranging from 5 to 11. My precious Caitlyn passed away in 2018 and my life has never been the same; I don't even see her children anymore. This is when trusting God is the only thing that gets me through the nights of grief, nightmares and waking up with tears falling. 

Friends - A few have passed away and most of the "Facebook Friendships" have faded away. My fault; I withdraw rather than reach out in times I need someone. But, I think of them and pray for them (when FB actually lets one of their posts in my news feed!). As always, my cousins---my first friends---are still my closest friends. 

Films - I still love them (especially "Beyond the Farthest Star") and have been blessed to work at home with various films, filmmakers, and pages. I have loved sharing about films, film conferences, etc. for the past 15 years. I am no longer able to get to a theater to watch movies, but have gone from disliking to embracing streaming services!

Festivities - I usually celebrate alone, but I am content with that. I admit, I do miss the impromptu birthday parties and activities we had when the great-grandkids stayed with me frequently, but the memories bring me joy.

Flames - I still can't cook, but it's been a while since a fire...or even the smoke detector going off. That's an improvement!! 

Finding - I am better about not hanging onto things "just in case" but I still need to seriously clean closets. Clutter never just goes away. :/ 

Facebook - isn't as much fun as it used to be. It's partly me and partly Facebook quirks and inconsistencies, but a lot of it is also how mean people have become. The world has become a place I never would have imagined. I have truly never witnessed this much hatred and hostility in my life. A sense of humor and common sense are becoming harder to find. But, I refuse to give up hope. 

Finally - It often seems like heartbreak far outweighs hope and happiness and the burden is sometimes overwhelming, but I remind myself that God loves me and everyone that I am worrying about...and He is firmly in control. I will always have "trust issues" in everyone and everything except Him. And despite the darkness and doubt of 2025, I still feel hope and excitement for 2026. 

I believe it's going to be an incredible year! 

Fireworks and Fun Memories

 

Many memories are created on July 4th as we celebrate America's Independence Day. The fireworks, parades, food, and gathering with family and friends always have meant a lot to me.

Among my earliest memories are trying to get the neighborhood kids to join me in a parade. Of course, it was just me decorating my tricycle with whatever pinwheels, streamers, & small flags I could find, along with whoever else I could get to join. Our parade route was to circle around the block. But, I do love a parade!

But the funniest July 4th-related memory happened while my cousin Debbie and I, along with our children, spent several days at Smith Lake. We had enjoyed several days of water fun, food, going to see the fireworks, fishing, etc.  

My aunt Sula (Debbie's mom) came up to join us for the weekend following the 4th. On Saturday night we rented, "My Stepmother is an Alien" to watch with the kids. We expected a kid-friendly comedy.

At one point, Dan Akroyd and Kim Basinger go to the bedroom and the scene goes straight to a fireworks display. Rob, Debbie's 7 y/o son, looks at the adults and asks, "Why are there fireworks?" My aunt's face turned a bright red as someone replied, "Its because they're having sex, Rob."

Rob thought for a few seconds, then turned to his grandmother and announced, "Nan, there was A LOT of people having sex at Big Bridge Marina when we went there!" 🤣🎆🤣🎇🤣

Operation Christmas Child - Dec 2, 2010

 A reprint of a blog post about my visit to the Operation Christmas Child operation center near Atlanta, GA, on 12/2/2010.

I was given an opportunity that was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I, along with 42 other members of Crosshaven Baptist Church, served for 4 hours at the processing plant of Operation Christmas Child near Atlanta, Georgia. You cannot begin to imagine what an immense undertaking it is to gather all of these shoe boxes together to send around the world to children who may never receive another gift.

We began by watching a brief film about the impact of this ministry. The smiles on the faces of the children are humbling; It would bring a tear to the eye of the most hardened person. Next there is a short demonstration on the proper way to go through the boxes to prepare them to be shipped. This is just to give the volunteers an overview of the things they will do. Although I was one of those selected to take place in the demo, I actually did none of the jobs we were shown. More on that later.

First thing is to remove any money. Not only are the funds to be used for shipping, but a child could be put in danger from someone wanting that cash. So, even toy money is not advised as a gift. After money is placed in a safe location, the box is turned over to inspectors. These are the volunteers who sort through the box to remove any items that cannot be shipped. Liquids are banned, and after seeing a couple of examples where the liquids spilled, that is totally understandable. Any type toy or clothing that would remind one of war is also removed. Breakable items, food, used items....these are among those that cannot be left in the box. They are placed in separate containers and each item is replaced with an appropriate substitute.

 We had been told that while some items may seem odd, especially for a child, to leave them unless they were on the banned list. One story was one I found very poignant: In one box, someone had placed a hammer and chisel. The child who received that box immediately grabbed the tools and raced for home, absolutely overjoyed. His father had been offered a job....just as soon as he was able to get a hammer & chisel! What would seem like foolishness to us was God's provision for that family!!

The next person in line is the taper. I think that job description is rather self-explanatory. The taper then hands off to a person who packs it into a box labeled with the appropriate gender/age group. If a person has chosen to follow the contents of their box, it does pass through the hands of the person who has the scanner. This enables Samaritan's Purse to update the donor on which country their box went to, making this an even more personal experience.

A job that was not explained to us, but was the one I ended up doing, is called the runner. Those who know me know that not only do I not run, but due to a car accident 16 years ago, I even often have trouble walking. Less than 4 months ago, I walked unaided for a mile for the first time in 16 years and have tried to keep that up and add a little to it. One of the runners kept the bins of extra gifts filled (to replace the removed banned items.) For 4 hours, I walked back and forth, emptying trash cans and taking the banned items to their location.

As a side note, if the thought of these banned items going to waste has crossed your mind...nothing is wasted! There are other ministries that can accept these items to hand out to those in need. Volunteers also man this area to sort the banned items to be easily handed off to the appropriate charities. Something has to be completely inappropriate to be considered unusable.

Near the end of our shift, I sent a message to a good friend; "PRAY! I don't think I have the strength to get back on the bus!" I seriously wondered if I was going to have to live in Atlanta if I was unable to climb the steps aboard the bus. I just kept going while praying, "I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13.  I also would periodically remind myself that they do have volunteer jobs available for those who need to sit, but I just had to get keep going!

After 4 hours, I was exhausted, in great physical pain, and filthy.....but I was also so very blessed to have been a part of such a glorious ministry. The 2 times we stopped to pray, especially for a box that each person chose to cradle in their arms as though it were the actual child, truly strengthened me!!! So, if you are ever given the opportunity to help with the Shoebox Ministry....DO IT!!!!!

               www.facebook.com/OCCshoeboxes

Grief Triggered

My crockpot quit working this weekend... and I cried. It was frustrating because I use it a lot, and I had just bought a roast. I had filled the crockpot with meat, potatoes, carrots, mushrooms, and onion... and was looking forward to a meal I had not prepared in several months. It was frustrating because I had spent my expendable income the day before on things that could have waited another month. But, none of the above is why I cried.

I cried because Caitlyn gave it to me. I had a large family-sized one; it was so big I cooked an 8 lb turkey in it one Thanksgiving when my oven quit. I had told Caitlyn that it was getting more difficult for me to pick up, even when empty.

She didn't buy a new one but simply gave me the one in her kitchen. When I realized it wasn't working, my mind immediately was flooded with the memories of us talking and laughing about what I could make for her... since she never cooked anything in it. I could picture her smiling face as clearly as if she had just handed it to me.

Suddenly, I was reminded that those moments will never happen again. Throwing it away brought another flood of tears. It felt like I was giving away another part of her. It's been almost 18 months since she died, but unexpected things and memories still have the power to remind me of the person I loved so dearly and lost.

Ironically, I have been wanting to buy another crockpot, even smaller than hers, but I never thought it would be such an emotional experience. Despite everything, there does come a time to move on. The crockpot is certainly replaceable! Caitlyn is not but I am reminded that I will see her again, healed and whole, and never again to be parted. She is safe with the Lord for now.

Dear Grandchild, This Is Me

Dear Grandchild, This Is Me: A Gift of Stories, Wisdom, and Off-the-Record Tales.

 

This book is a special keepsake for your grandchild, inspired by you. It is a condensed diary of your life.


Being a grandparent is a wonderfully rewarding experience. With this valuable keepsake, you can gift your voice and memories to future generations. Whether providing snapshots of your childhood, details of your heritage, or your declassified personal “secrets,” your grandchild will treasure this glimpse into your unique story.

My Review: I love genealogy and family history so this is a book I am very excited about. I loved hearing stories from my parents and grandparents but some memories have faded over time and there is so much more I wish I had asked. This is a perfect opportunity to write down memories you wish to share and leave a legacy by sharing what you have learned over the years and teaching your grandchild about your values and faith.

 
Special Features:
* Built-in envelopes to stash special, private letters for specific occasions in your grandchild's future.
* A sheet of adhesive photo corners to adhere photographs and special memories throughout.
* Off-the-record questions to prompt fun stories.
* A family tree to trace your ancestry.
* Space to share your favorite recipes or those passed through the generations.
* A world map to showcase your travels.

Some of the questions are simple and straightforward. Others require a bit more thought. My one minor complaint is that there is too little room to answer some questions but you can always write more on paper and place it in one of the built-in envelopes.

The hardback book is beautifully illustrated and makes a perfect gift. Keep in mind, this is not a gift to give to a young child, but a wonderful keepsake to put aside for adulthood. This would be excellent to give to new or expectant grandparents so they could begin to write their memories and gather (or copy) special photos. Or, grandparents could buy one for each grandchild and began filling in the details as well as making each book uniquely personal.

I received an advanced readers copy of Dear Grandchild, This is Me for this review as part of the Waterbrook Launch Team. I was not required to write a positive review and all book review opinions are strictly my own

Caitlyn the Giver

Caitlyn was mischievous, beautiful, exasperating, opinionated, stubborn, optimistic, and more... but most of all she was a generous giver of time and resources.

The first time I noticed her desire to give was when she was about 3 or 4. She heard about the "March for Jesus" our church was participating in, which included a food drive. That afternoon she told me she needed bags. I walked into the kitchen to find my cabinets and refrigerator completely emptied. When I asked why, her reply was, "Jesus needs food!" 


A couple of years later, when she learned of the Building Fund for our new church building, she rushed down to the Sunday School class I taught and breathlessly exclaimed, "Quick! I need a quarter!" In response to my, "Why?" Caitlyn excitedly told me, "We're building a new church! Somebody has to pay for it!"


In 5th grade, I was not at all surprised to hear her class gathered the

most food for the canned food drive. My cabinets were emptied more than once. At least she did not grab the perishables or open containers this time.

Once she became a teen, my refrigerator was sometimes emptied because she noticed friends in my neighborhood had no food. She would also tell me of clothing needs because I volunteered at a local clothing ministry.

For several months, she would stop by my house before her Youth Group to ask for $5 to buy a drink. When I once asked why she needed that much, she explained that one girl who came never had money so she always bought hers too. 

As she became an adult --- a wife and a mother, her compassion grew even stronger. She would give to anybody who had a need if she had it to give... or knew of someone else who had it. A few months ago she became aware of Cullman's Little Pantry and encouraged others to donate food.

She genuinely cared about her friends, and even strangers she encountered. Caitlyn was the one person I could depend upon if I needed to go to the store, or my computer or phone worked on or just to see if I wanted to get out of the house for a bit. She was more than my grandchild, she became my friend. She was far from perfect, and we had some strong differences of opinions more than once, but I never doubted her generosity and love of me and others. I doubt the hole in my heart and life will ever be completely filled but the memories will encourage me to try to be more like her generous spirit... and to let her babies know the kind of mama they had.

Caitlyn Paige Burton Ross
Oct 3, 1995 ~ Sept 27, 2018

Memories of 11/22/63: Grief to Gratitude to Grace

Sandra, Paul, Debbie, & Cindy
November 1963

Several have posted memories of Kennedy being assassinated 50 years ago today. My parents, brother, my best friend, and I had come to Alabama for a few days. This photo of Sandra, Paul, Debbie (my cousin), and I was made about that time. I know I was sitting on my grandparent's front porch when my mom came outside crying, telling us that President Kennedy had been shot.

At the time, I did not truly grasp the enormity of what had happened. Since Daddy was in the Navy, I know we immediately had to return to where he was stationed in Goose Creek (near Charleston), South Carolina. All I remember about the trip back was my parents sitting in the front seat, quietly taking, and Mom continued to have tears streaming down her face. Of course, I cried because Mom cried. 

Caroline, Jackie, & John Kennedy
11/25/63

At first I thought she was upset because we had to end our Thanksgiving vacation early, but reality sank in once we got to a television and I witnessed the sights and sounds of what had and continued to happen. Images of a grieving widow, and 2 kids brought it into a sharper focus. These kids no longer had a daddy. John-John's daddy was being buried on his 3rd birthday! Caroline's was just 2 days later, and she was the same age as my little brother. Suddenly, my world expanded beyond my circle of family and friends.

I remember when Thanksgiving came a few days later, I was more aware than ever of the blessings I had received from God. I knew that Thanksgiving was a day we thanked God. We always prayed before eating anyway, but Thanksgiving Grace was for more than just the food we were about to eat. When it was my turn to ask the blessing, I always used the standard, "God is great, God is good, Let us thank Him for our food.", but I think I matured a little between Nov. 22, and Nov. 28, 1963.

That Thanksgiving I asked permission to ask the blessing. I still remember getting to the table early with my Bible because I wanted to read Scripture too. That is when I discovered a Psalm about thanksgiving! Psalm 100 immediately became a favorite and I remember reading it before asking the blessing and thanking God for all of the blessings I had received and could look forward to receiving from Him for all eternity. So, more than just a "Where Were You When...?" moment, this expanded to a week of where I experienced the grief of others as we mourned as a nation, realized how much I had to be grateful about in my life as the Kennedy family received the gratitude of a grateful nation for their sacrifice, and realized there was more to saying grace and thanking God for my food. I could also experience God's Grace and He became very real to me that week.