Wednesday, December 31, 2025

New Year's Eve 2010 ...Revisted

This morning I found an old blog post from December 31, 2010. My mind has gone back to what I wrote frequently today. I have thought about the words written then and the changes in my life over the past 15 years. I've laughed, I've cried, I've even gotten angry, and I am still contemplating what to do with this jumble of emotions... especially with current events bringing their own turmoil. Not all bad, or sad, but the "what if's" and "why's" do color a few of my perspectives. 

The post (or more likely an old Facebook Note) is titled:

Favorites of 2010

Last night I began thinking of things from this past year that have been important to me. I had to laugh that so many of the words began with the same letter: Faith, Family, Friends, Films, Festivities, Flames, Finding...! Well, you get the point. My initial title for this note did make me giggle, but I decided it is inappropriate. Therefore, I was grateful when the word "Favorites" popped into my mind.

Faith: My faith becomes more important to me each year. This is the year I reluctantly decided to leave a church family I still love dearly and move to another. I was so caught up in service to God that I was neglecting time with God. I also know myself well enough to know that I was not just going to learn to say no and step down from my involvement. I still have a long way to go in learning to rest in His presence and listen to His voice. (I do tend to talk way too much!) However, I am learning to seek Him and soak in His word. Prayer needs of others also is bringing me into more time spent with God.

Family: My "babies"are all in their 30s!! How did that happen so quickly? (Frankly, I still see a 16 year old when I look in the mirror....yeah, fantasy!!) My daughter remarried this year and is growing in her faith. My prayers are still with my sons to return to theirs, but I am proud of the people my children have become and have confidence that they will continue to evolve into the people God intends them to be.

The grandkids are rushing toward adulthood with amazing speed. Zac is driving!! I still see the little boy on his tricycle, but he will soon be a man and already shows a promise of maturity. Caitlyn is at the fun, frustrating, & fascinating age of fifteen. Cody is leaving behind the world of being a child quicker than I am ready for, but I am amazed at the young man he is becoming. Admittedly, there were a few weeks there when I broke out in hives every day when he got home from school...and he wasn't too thrilled to be around me either...but I believe we are going to be okay.

Friends: This is an absolutely amazing group of people who mean more to me than they could possibly realize. Some have been around for a lifetime...and I have the sheer pleasure of also being related to them. Some are people that I have met through the years and whether the relationship is one where we share details of our lives or one of a more casual nature, each is special to me. The third group are people I have never met. There are some I can share more detail with than I have shared with people I have known for over 50 years.....yet I never expect to meet them. (Perhaps that is the type that works best for me! LOL!) Whether I have known these friends since my entrance into the world, or they have just recently entered into my world, these are people I can talk to, pray for (& can ask them to pray for me), and rejoice in getting to know them better. I hope you all know who you are and that I have let you know that I treasure you.

Films: What can I say? Beyond The Farthest Star!  Alright, seriously, there is no doubt that I am so excited about this film I talk of little else...and I couldn't begin to tell you why. Honestly...I don't know. :)

However BTFS and other faith-based films have become an important part of my life. On one hand it saddens me that we have become so entertainment saturated that simply telling others about Jesus no longer seems adequate. On the other hand, I see movies, music, & books as doors of opportunity to get a conversation started. I love to read, but I realize many do not. Music is my favorite form of worship...a song can bring me to the throne of God within seconds. But movies seem to weave a common thread with others. I like a variety of movies. I don't think the purpose of each faith-based film should be to lead others to Christ. I don't have the expectation of secular films to encapsulate their entire belief system within an approximately 2 hour time frame, so why should I expect Christian filmmakers to constrict themselves?

God did lay this industry on my heart. I know I probably drive many people up a wall as I promote a variety of films, but it seems silly for me to just sit around praying for the films and the people involved with them without sharing the news. Put it this way: If you feel something will make a difference in someone's life, do you tell them? Whether a film can help me share my faith with non-believers, clarify (whether about a person, an issue, whatever...), give a person something to think about,....or frankly, just entertain someone, how will people know if no one tells them? 

Festivities: Whether it is the most sacred of holidays that commemorate significant milestones in our beliefs (Christmas, Easter, etc.) to frivolous (Talk Like A Pirate Day, National Coffee Day...not sure if that is frivolous to me) to ones that give us both cause to reflect on our past and give hope to the future (any guesses here?), the festivities, celebrations, & holidays have given us an opportunity to share fun facts, favorites, fears, faith, friendship...and a common bond with one another. Hope to have many opportunities in 2011 to celebrate with y'all!!

Flames: What else, but.....my cooking...to use the term loosely. I noticed my most popular status updates were always when I mentioned my attempts to cook. While I do have the occasional success, I also have those moments with flames shooting out of the oven. My inability to boil water without some type of disaster still astounds me. I do want to thank some of you who were kind enough to believe that I merely lacked decent recipes. Some that I received did turn out quite well. Some looked promising, although my son constantly tells me that my ideas of "close enough" is usually nowhere near an adequate substitute. There are some I am still puzzling over: what is 'cake flour'? Let me leave this section with a quote I found written in my status updates that sums up this subject perfectly:

'I read recipes the same way I do science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's probably not going to happen!""

Finding: This refers to my recent attempts to clean out closets. No, I'm still not done!!!!! Once I packed away the reindeer antlers and nose.....THAT reminds me!! I never did come back and let people know about the nose. I lamented that I could not find my clown nose the day I discovered my reindeer antlers while cleaning. Well, I went to church with my daughter & family on Christmas Eve and red foam noses were being given to the children for them to wear while singing "Rudolph" during the program. I laughed and said that I needed one earlier due to the misplacement of my red nose, and they graciously gave me one!!!!! LOL! While I seldom feel the need to dress like Rudolph while cleaning (the closets were just particularly depressing)........now I can!!

Anyway...some of y'all may remember all of the plastic Easter eggs I kept finding! I am still finding them everywhere!! I apparently have bought dozens of the things over the years and just kept tossing them in the closet. Trust me, they are leaving my house.......in spite of the fact that I keep thinking of uses for them. I am also hoping I have found the last of my stashes of crayons, glue, & sticky notes. I doubt it, but I can hope. Who knows what all I may find before the forage through the closets is finished.

Facebook: Now, how could I omit this word? The previously mentioned topics would be futile and frustrating without the fun I have had here. Facebook has been at the center of so many aspects of my life, and I hope it will continue to be part of my life...but who knows what the future holds.

Finally...thank you all for a fantastic year! May God bless each one who has been a part of my life in 2010 and I hope 2011 is filled with love, life, laughter, & joy beyond belief!
         *********************************************

Updates:
Faith - My faith and trust in God remains strong, but I still need to grow closer. I returned to the church I had left in 2010 just eight years later. God knew I was going to need these familiar friends around me very soon. Between a pandemic, great-grandchildren, and personal health issues, I no longer attend, but I can watch online to still feel a part of it all.

Family - My "babies" are getting closer to 50! Zac, Cait, and Cody have children ranging from 5 to 11. My precious Caitlyn passed away in 2018 and my life has never been the same; I don't even see her children anymore. This is when trusting God is the only thing that gets me through the nights of grief, nightmares and waking up with tears falling. 

Friends - A few have passed away and most of the "Facebook Friendships" have faded away. My fault; I withdraw rather than reach out in times I need someone. But, I think of them and pray for them (when FB actually lets one of their posts in my news feed!). As always, my cousins---my first friends---are still my closest friends. 

Films - I still love them (especially "Beyond the Farthest Star") and have been blessed to work at home with various films, filmmakers, and pages. I have loved sharing about films, film conferences, etc. for the past 15 years. I am no longer able to get to a theater to watch movies, but have gone from disliking to embracing streaming services!

Festivities - I usually celebrate alone, but I am content with that. I admit, I do miss the impromptu birthday parties and activities we had when the great-grandkids stayed with me frequently, but the memories bring me joy.

Flames - I still can't cook, but it's been a while since a fire...or even the smoke detector going off. That's an improvement!! 

Finding - I am better about not hanging onto things "just in case" but I still need to seriously clean closets. Clutter never just goes away. :/ 

Facebook - isn't as much fun as it used to be. It's partly me and partly Facebook quirks and inconsistencies, but a lot of it is also how mean people have become. The world has become a place I never would have imagined. I have truly never witnessed this much hatred and hostility in my life. A sense of humor and common sense are becoming harder to find. But, I refuse to give up hope. 

Finally - It often seems like heartbreak far outweighs hope and happiness and the burden is sometimes overwhelming, but I remind myself that God loves me and everyone that I am worrying about...and He is firmly in control. I will always have "trust issues" in everyone and everything except Him. And despite the darkness and doubt of 2025, I still feel hope and excitement for 2026. 

I believe it's going to be an incredible year!