Mother & Son: The Respect Effect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

The idea of moms respecting their sons may sound alien to some, but it seems to ignite curiosity across the board. It is easy to relate to the need for all of us to feel a mother’s love, but is that the same thing as respect? Even for young boys, the effect of respect is nothing short of astounding when applied properly.  Moms yearn to learn anything that better helps them with their sons. After all, they love their boys, but many find them more difficult to parent than their girls, especially from age four and up. What makes this all the more urgent is that moms are coaching fathers to love their daughters, but no one has said boo to moms on specific ways to show respect to their sons, at least not in a way that is applicable and fully explained. All realize that little girls need daddy’s love, but who is strongly promoting the truth that little boys (and big ones) need Mom's respect? No wonder mothers feel left in the dark on this topic. (publisher)

TOPICS COVERED INCLUDE:

• The 6 desires God seeded in your son
• Why a mother’s love is not the same thing as respect
• Respect: the key to your son’s heart
• Who’s respecting whom: mother or son?
• Unconditional respect: a biblical idea
• Top 6 mom misconceptions
• How to see the man in your son
• When you should discipline
• It’s never too late: quick-start tips for those who feel short on time
• 21 days of inspiration for the respect effect
• Encouraging scriptures for parenting your son with respect

My Review: The book has information that is valuable, yet something about it just grated on me as I read it. There seemed to be more than a hint of condescension in the tone when addressing mothers. I thought perhaps I was taking it too personally since I have been aware for decades about the male need for respect, even in little boys. The author kept trying to say how women think to the point I could almost believe I am not female. People, both male and female, are individuals with varying traits. So, to be fair, my annoyance may have colored my reaction to the book.

The word RESPECT is vital to the book but was also overused. Much of the suggested dialogue between a mother and son was stilted, but did give good suggestions and outlines. I come from a different generation, so my experiences may be different than that of a young mom raising a child today. So, this could be a valuable resource for those who are unfamiliar with the male need for respect. And, I know several women who think like the author assumes all women think. Don't get me wrong---there is nothing wrong with those thoughts and personalities, they just aren't universal. And, I am certain that no offense was intended in the writing, especially since Dr. Eggerichs specializes in the importance of showing respect to others. I am sure many will also find the success stories encouraging. Letting your son (and all males in your family) know that you love them is important, too, but letting them know you respect them is essential. And I do respect the time, effort, hard work, and thoughts Dr. Eggerichs put into research and writing this and that he is changing lives and relationships for the better.

“We’ve coached fathers on how to love their daughters, but we’ve not coached mothers on how to meet the need a boy has to feel respected for who he is. This is what Mother & Son is all about.“ – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs