Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Teenage Angst

As I am sleepily sitting here trying to wait on my friend Leonard's church service to come online (17 hour time difference between Cullman and Auckland is not working in my favor!) , I thought I would try to remember some stuff I was thinking about this weekend.

Saturday night my teenage granddaughter spent the night with me and brought her new Justin Beiber cd. Frankly, I have never heard him before. Honestly, I am good if I never hear him again. First of all, Caitlyn is not suffering teenage angst.....she just played a song REPEATEDLY that I could not stop myself from mocking. The overly dramatic "That Should Be Me" reminded me of myself as a young teenager totally besotted with a neighborhood boy. I probably would have liked this song at 14.....although I am happy to report bubblegum pop was soon replaced with much better music!

Back to my point: between 14 & 16, I thought my life would be over forever because of one boy whom I adored who did not return my affections. I can probably trace my obsessive tendencies back to this time in my life!! :) He and I were friends, and hung out with the same group of people....but I wanted to be special. I just knew I would love him forever. The day he moved out of state was a day of deep mourning for me.

Flash forward 38 years and to the various areas people search for one another. In this case, it was Classmates. I was excited to see that a couple of high school friends had left messages for me, including my best friend!! There was also one from a boy I used to hang out with named Herb. Within days, I received an email that reconnected me with my long-lost unrequited love!! For a moment or 2 too, I must admit that some of the giddiness and angst of those young years returned!!

Rick and sent a flurry of emails back and forth catching up with each other, and laughing at our memories of high school. Oddly enough, he had never realized that the reason I dated all of his friends was because I wanted to spend more time with HIM! What's up with not totally getting THAT signal!! It made sense in high school!! There was even a small flutter of both joy and dismay to realize that he DID like me back then. I guess a person never is fully over that first love.

For those who wonder if this turned into a happily-ever-after fairy We are friends who sometimes email several times a day and sometimes go weeks without writing. Things that were important to me at 15 are meaningless at 55. For one thing, he and I do not share the same faith. I wish I had always realized how important that is. We grew up, grew apart, and I am content with the bittersweet memories of loving a young boy......who was apparently clueless.

Although I could...and should....make a point of all of this, I guess I am just remembering a simpler time and how earth-shaking it seemed 40 years ago. I know now that time does heal and the sad memories can become treasured ones. But if I did not learn anything else in life, there is this valued lesson: I have learned to trust in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.,

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